When a Christian woman is married to an unbeliever it can sometimes be socially and spiritually difficult for a husband and wife to get along. The relationship can be tense, hurtful and full of opposing views and fighting.
Marriage is the joining together of a man and a woman so that both become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore a husband and wife are supposed to be united in all aspects of their life.
However unity is difficult to maintain whenever one spouse is born again and the other is not. Therefore when a Christian woman is married to an unbelieving husband there is a social, psychological and spiritual disunity that takes place within the relationship.
So how should a Christian woman relate with a husband who is not a believer? What can she do to help create peace in the home and minimize tension?
1. Pray For Your Husband
Learn to get into the habit of regularly praying for your husband and praying for his salvation. Even though you don’t agree with many of his ungodly beliefs and even though you have opposing values – pray for him and pray that his heart may be open to the things of God.
Interceding for your husband is an act of love. When you pray for him, you are releasing your husband into God’s hands and believing that God is ultimately sovereign and in control of all situations within your relationship. Therefore, there are many aspects of your husband’s life and behavior that you cannot control – but only God is the one who can control and intervene.
Therefore interceding for your husband reflects that you desire God’s intervention and counsel in your husband’s life and in your marriage.
You can also have friends and family join you in prayer for your husband that he may be saved and that God may give you wisdom and strength in your relationship.
1 Timothy 2:1 – First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people
2. Honor Your Husband
Every man, whether he is a believer or unbeliever desires to be respected by his own wife. This desire for respect by their wives is spiritually inbuilt in men.
1 Peter 3:1-2 says: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
One of the ways a wife can win her unbelieving husband to Christianity is by her godly and respectful conduct in the home. Such conduct must be consistent and genuine.
The people who know us the most intimately are the people whom we live with.
The Christian life is not only about honoring God with our lips, but it is also about conducting ourselves in a manner which gives glory to God even in the eyes of an unbeliever.
Therefore an unbelieving husband will not only look at what you say – but he will look at how you behave.
3. Prioritize Your Husband & Let Him Know That He Is Special To You
Even though you love God and you love church – your husband also needs to know that you love him and that he is special to you. An unbelieving husband does not like to feel as if he’s in competition for your attention with your church or with your church activities.
The last thing your husband would like to know is that you find the church leader to be a priority over him. Therefore no other man should be a priority above your own husband.
Ephesians 5:22 says: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
1 Peter 3:1 also tells wives to be subject to their own husbands.
Therefore (in Christ or within reason) a Christian wife is expected to respect her husband above other men.
He therefore needs affirmation from you that he is special in your life by your words and by your actions.
In the life of a Christian, God comes first, family comes second and church activities can come third.
For example, before going to church, make sure that that meals are prepared, the house is in order, and the children’s needs are met.
Therefore, as a Christian woman, you have the opportunity to show the nature and character of Jesus Christ to your unbelieving husband. Every situation in your relationship is an opportunity for Christ to be magnified and glorified.
Your life can be a testimony of who Jesus Christ is to your husband and why Christ is so important in your life.
Your home is therefore a place where your husband can be ministered to because of the godly way that you are living and conducting yourself in the home.