Category: Marriage & Family

Qualities of a Good Parent

Parenting in the 21st Century has become more challenging than it has ever been.
We live in world where Biblical and principled parenting is under attack. Many anti-family and anti-parenting concepts have been introduced in the world with the deliberate intention of completely changing the Biblical concept of what it means to be a good parent.

In the life of a child in the 21st century, a mother and father are no longer the only parents of a particular child. In our ungodly world, a single child has more than just a mother and father as his/her parents.
Unfortunately, the television has also become the parent; the internet & social media have become the parent; the popular half-naked celebrities have become the parents; the atheist school teacher has become the parent; even the government has become the parent.

However, should parenting problems only be blamed on television, celebrities, social media and the like? Perhaps part of the blame might also go to many parents themselves who have surrendered to worldly values and therefore fail to bring up their children in a godly manner.

So the question is – what are the qualities of a good parent? What does the Bible say is the duty of a parent and why is it important to practice good parenting skills.

 

1. A GOOD PARENT MUST TEACH & TRAIN UP A CHILD
Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
The best human authority figures to train up a growing child are the parents of that particular child.
Training for life and training pertaining to values and principles should not be left to the internet sites, celebrities or even the Sunday school teacher.
It is the duty of a good parent to teach and train a child the correct values and principles for that child to become a good and godly person in life and society.
Children are products of what they have been taught by the authority figures in the lives. For example, a child who grows up to be a violent and abusive adult may have been taught directly or indirectly by an authority figure in his life that violence and abuse is the answer to solving problems.
A good parent must also understand that children do not only learn through our words only, but they also learn by watching our behavior and actions within the home.
The “do as I say and not as I do” concept does not work in relation to parenting. Instead a good parent teaches and trains a child by being an example.

 

2. A GOOD PARENT LEAVES AN INHERITANCE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION
Proverbs 13:22 says A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
A good parent does not only live for his own generation. Good parents do not live and create wealth only for themselves and then leave their children with nothing by the time the parents die.
Good parents will always work and live with the next generation of their family in mind.
Even God thinks generationally. Therefore a good parent must leave wealth, knowledge and godly values that will equip and help the family for generations.
Therefore just bad certain sins and iniquities can be observed & experienced generationally within a particular family, it is also possible that wealth and many other blessings can be observed & experienced generationally within a family.
It is therefore up to parents to ensure that they bless the next generation and not curse them.

 

3. A GOOD PARENT DISCIPLINES HIS CHILDREN
Hebrews 12:7 says It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Proverbs 19:18 says Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death
The discipline of a child is an important part when it comes to parenting. It is also important for the development of the child as well.
Discipline not only asserts who is in authority between a parent and child, but it also teaches the child to respect different authorities in life.
Discipline also helps a child to understand that there can be consequences to making bad or irresponsible life choices & decisions.
Therefore discipline should always be done in love. Discipline should be done to teach and not necessarily to simply “punish”.
It’s also important for a parent to understand the difference between discipline and abuse.
Abuse does not build up a child. Abuse destroys a child’s development. However, while discipline might not be popular to a child for a while, the discipline will lead to positive results in a child’s development.
The Bible therefore encourages parents to discipline their children because it will ultimately benefit the child as he/she grows and develops.

 

4. A GOOD PARENT LOVES HIS/HER CHILDREN
Titus 2:4 says “that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children”.
Love is an important virtue of any human and interpersonal relationship. Children are supposed to first learn the meaning of love through their parents. Within the family, love is not only reflected by words alone, but children are capable of understanding what love is, through the actions and behavior of their parents.
If love and affection is not shown or reflected in the home, a child will also become unloving or unaffectionate when he/she grows up.
However, every person – especially children, yearn for love and affection and this is a need that every parent must reflect towards his/her child.

 

5. A GOOD PARENT DOES NOT HINDER A CHILD FROM A RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
Matthew 19:13-14 says Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
A good parent allows his/her children to relate with Jesus Christ. A good parent will not hinder his/her child from having a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. A good parent will desire for his/her child to go to church and fellowship with Bible believing Christians.
One of the most important duties of a parent is to point a child to focus on Jesus Christ and to enable the child to one day make a personal decision to accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Saviour.
The whole point of training up a child as mentioned in Proverbs 22:6 is so that the child may grow up to become a godly person who has a relationship with Christ.

 

6. A GOOD PARENT PROVIDES FOR HIS CHILDREN
1 Timothy 5:8 says But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
A good parent provides for the physical, emotional and psychological needs of his/her child. Even if a husband and wife are divorced, it is important for the divorced parents to look after the welfare of their child.
Children should not have to be neglected just because the parents are divorced. Therefore both mother and father have an obligation to provide for their child or children.

 

Conclusion
Deuteronomy 11:18-19 says “You shall therefore lay up these words of Mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.

Ultimately parents are required to obey the word of God in every area of life. Parents are then required by God to teach the word of God to their children.
Parents are encouraged by God to pass on spiritual and godly values for life to their own kids and thereby create a better, godly generation.

5 Things That Ruin Marriages

There’s no doubt that the divorce rate around the world continues to grow and it shows no sign of slowing down.
You find a couple seemingly falls in love, gets married and then before you know it, their marriage is ruined and they are filing for divorce.

 

So what are the things that ruin marriages? Below are at least 5 major factors that can destroy a marriage.

1. FINANCES
This is always a big issue in a marriage. Maybe the husband isn’t earning as much as his wife and so there’s tension in the home.
Or perhaps there are disagreements on how to budget and spend the money in the home.
Another reason could be that both husband and wife are not earning enough income and so it’s difficult to meet the financial requirements in the home.
Couples are therefore bound to fight and even divorce if measures are not taken to address the financial aspect of a marriage.
The Bible however teaches us that we should be good stewards of all that God gives us and therefore this includes how we use our money. God expects us to spend our money wisely and righteously.
Furthermore, we are not to worry about money (Matthew 6:25-34) – but we should learn to trust in God that He will supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19).
Therefore in a marriage – a couple shouldn’t focus on fighting each other over money – but the couple should collectively look towards being good stewards of what they have and to trust that God will provide increase and supply every need of the family.

2. UNFORGIVENESS
Have you ever had those fights with your spouse where something you did many years ago which you thought was long forgiven and forgotten is brought back in the fight – and you’re like “Hey – I thought that issue was long forgiven & forgotten”
Well – unforgiveness – if not properly dealt with- it grows like a cancer and it festers bitterness, resentment and an underlying rage which may eventually destroy a marriage.
So it’s important that when a couple fights, that they attempt to quickly and amicably resolve an issue as soon as possible.
The Bible says that we should not allow the sun to go down whilst we are still angry (Ephesians 4:26). In other words – try not to go to bed without amicably resolving a problem with your spouse.

3. DISHONESTY & LACK OF TRANSPARENCY
Poor communication or lack of transparency will undoubtedly lead to lack of trust within the relationship.
The Bible encourages us to be honest and to speak the truth in love. Hiding the truth is a form of deception but speaking the truth encourages trust between spouses.
Where there is dishonesty there is lack of trust, and where there is lack of trust, a marriage may end up in divorce.

4. ADULTERY
Adultery is clearly wrong and it destroys the trust of a spouse. The Bible teaches that if you marry someone – it is for life and you are to remain faithful to your partner till death do you part.
Biblically, marriage is more than just a human contract. It is the joining of a man and woman in order to become one flesh.
Adultery destroys trust, creates unforgiveness and it can destroy a marriage.

5. NOT FULFILLING GOD-GIVEN DUTIES / ROLES
A marriage can be ruined because spouses do not understand or fulfill their God given spousal roles in the home.
The Bible teaches that the husband is the head and his roles is to love, provide, lead, nourish & protect his wife just as Christ does the same for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-31).
The wife is to respect & submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24,33). The wife should also be like the wife mentioned in Proverbs 31 in that she is excellent, respectful to her husband, industrious and manages the home.

So it’s important to note that every marriage goes through testing. The important thing as a couple is to learn HOW to resolve problems together and to put God at the centre of the relationship.

 

Foundations of a Good Marriage

What are the tips for a good marriage? What are the foundations of a good marriage?
Every marriage needs a good foundation for such a union to stand strong through the tests and trials of life.
Below are at least 7 areas that are important to having a good marriage.

1. LEAVE & CLEAVE
Genesis 2:24 NKJVTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Have you ever had problems with your in-laws despite of the fact that your in-laws lived in a different home? Well, imagine the kind of problems you would have if you lived with your in-laws in the same house.
Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall leave his mother & father to live with his wife and they shall become one flesh.
Therefore 2 things are important in this scripture in order to establish a good foundation for marriage:
a) A man (and wife) must LEAVE his/her parents. This means leaving your parent’s home so that you and your spouse can live under a different roof.
b) A man (and wife) must CLEAVE to his/her spouse. This speaks of becoming united and inseparable.

Therefore it is difficult for a married couple to leave & cleave if they are still under the roof of their parents or influence of other family members.

2. A HUSBAND WHO LOVES
Ephesians 5:25 NKJVHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
According to Ephesians 5:25-33, husbands are required to love their wives. The kind of love described is an unfailing and unconditional love.
The husband is required to love his wife in 3 ways:
a) Love as Christ loves the Church & gave Himself for her (vs 25)
b) Love his wife as he loves himself or his own body (vs 28,33)
c) Love by nourishing & cherishing her as Christ does the church (vs 29)
Nourishing is defined as: providing with food or other substances necessary for growth, health and good condition
Cherishing is defined as: to protect and care for someone lovingly

3. A HUSBAND WHO LEADS
Ephesians 5:23 NKJVFor the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Husbands are to lead their families. The scriptures describe the husband as the one who is head just as Christ is Head over the Church.
Every institution, including the institution of marriage must have a leader. God in His infinite wisdom has declared that a husband is to lead the wife. Leading one’s family does not mean becoming a dictator or autocratic in the home. A husband is ultimately accountable to God for how he leads his wife and family. Just as Adam was ultimately accountable to God for the fall of man and for allowing Eve to be deceived (Genesis 3:17), the husband is responsible to God and the husbands provides a covering for his wife.

4. A WIFE WHO SUBMITS
Ephesians 5:22-24 NKJVWives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
Submission does not mean that a wife cannot disagree with her husband. Submission does not make the wife a slave or a servant of the husband. Neither does submission suggest that the wife is in any form less equal to her husband. Both husband and wife are equal before God, however it is only their functions within the marriage which differ.
Submission is the act of yielding or consenting to the authority of another. Submission incorporates voluntary obedience and respect.
According to Ephesians 5:22-24, wives are required to submit to their husbands in the following ways:
a) Submit to your own husband
b) Submit as unto the Lord
Why are wives required to submit and not the husbands? The answer is found in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church…”
The Church is the bride of Christ whilst Christ is the bridegroom. Therefore the marriage between a husband and wife parallels the marriage between Christ & the Church.

5. A WIFE WHO RESPECTS HER HUSBAND
Ephesians 5:33 NKJVNevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
It’s interesting to note that under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul does not also ask wives to love their husbands. Love of course is an important foundation of any relationship and both husbands and wives must love one another in their relationship. However, the Scriptures emphasize that wives must respect their husbands. Why? The male personality in a marriage apparently yearns for respect from his wife. Men tend to respond better and feel more appreciated when they are respected by their wives.
Submission and respect are like 2 sides of the same coin. A wife who respects her husband will automatically submit to him. Also a wife who submits to her husband does so because she respects her husband.

6. TRANSPARENT COMMUNICATION
Ephesians 4:25-26 NKJVTherefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
Secrets and lies are never a good foundation for any relationship, including a marriage. Every relationship is built on trust. If a couple cannot trust one another, it is difficult for that relationship to stand or grow.
It’s therefore imperative for couples to always be transparent and open in relation to one’s feelings, one’s thoughts, and one’s perspectives.
A couple should not keep grudges between each other nor should they allow issues or problems to remain unresolved or uncommunicated.
Therefore leaving issues unresolved is dangerous to the relationship.

7. GOD AT THE CENTRE OF THE MARRIAGE
Marriage itself is not an institution that was created by man. Marriage was created by God. Therefore God is the One who set the guidelines as to how a marriage should function & what roles the husband and wife play in the relationship.
A marriage that is without God and without the mind of God in it is bound to fail.
Therefore God is the most important foundation for any relationship, including marriage.

Genesis 2:21-24 NKJV
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

 

 

Do Unborn Lives Matter?

Do unborn lives matter? Is abortion really justifiable? Why is abortion wrong?

  • Imagine if somebody tried to kill you in your sleep. Imagine yourself being killed without the opportunity to defend yourself verbally and physically.
  • Imagine that while you slept, the people who want to kill you considered your existence on this earth to be a mistake.
  • Imagine while you slept, people voted & deliberated as to whether you should be put to death or not. Imagine that even while you slept the people who want you killed believed that you are a “lesser being” and therefore your personal opinion or rights regarding your existence did not matter.
  • Imagine while you slept that the people who want to murder you thought that your existence was a hindrance to their own lives. Imagine that while you slept, the people who would desire to have you killed decided that they could not allow you to live another 9 months because your existence within those 9 months was unbearable for them.
  • Imagine while you slept that the people who would wish you dead considered you to be less than human in order to justify the terrible thing that they are about to do to you.

Whilst unborn babies sleep inside their mother’s womb there are people who plot the abortion of their unborn children. Many mothers & fathers selfishly deliberate whether to abort their children or not. Abortion is wrong. It’s not of God not matter what the laws of a country will say. The law of God stands above the man-made laws of a nation. God has a plan for unborn babies and the act of aborting an unborn baby is a sin against God.

Jeremiah 1:4,5 says “Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

 

To the people who believe that abortion is okay, it’s important to conscientise them of the following:

  1. It’s easy to support abortion when you’re not the one being killed.
  2. Take the time to remember and acknowledge that your own mother did not abort you.
  3. Would you have preferred it if your own parent(s) had aborted you – and for your potential to be born to be taken away from you whilst not having any choice in the matter?
  4. If a baby is in the womb of a woman and if that baby is breathing – then is it not alive?
  5. If a “fetus” is not alive – then why do you have to kill it?

 

In certain countries a person can be fined heavily for more than $10000 or face long imprisonment for killing an endangered animal. It is illegal for example, to kill an eagle egg but yet in the same countries it is okay/legal to have an abortion of an unborn child for any reason.

God clearly reveals to us that an unborn child matters and that we as people are more important than even the birds.

Matthew 6:26 says “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Are we not of more value than birds? The value of a human life is more important than any animal – yet our world has put the value & rights of an unborn animal above the value of an unborn human life.

Whilst abortionists or pro-abortion activists would disagree, the word of God clearly reveals to us that unborn lives indeed matter. God values an unborn child. The term “with child” is mentioned more than 20 times when referring to a pregnant woman. The Bible does not mention the word “fetus” at all and neither does the word of God refer to an unborn child as being inhuman until it is born.

 

Why Is Abortion Wrong?

  • An unborn child is not a “fetus”. It is human. The DNA of an unborn child already comes from its biological mother and father. Humans produce humans. Humans do not produce a different kind of creature. This therefore makes the act of abortion an act of killing another human being.
  • An unborn child is innocent and it is a creation of God. Therefore God has a plan and a purpose for that child (Jeremiah 1:4,5). To abort an unborn baby would be to interfere in the plan of God for that child.
  • An unborn child is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26,27). An unborn child is therefore of more value than an animal. Whilst animals are good and important to the earth, the value of an unborn child outweighs the value of any animal (Matthew 6:26). Animals were not made in God’s image. Humans were made in His image.
  • God’s word uses the terms “child”, “son”, “daughter”, “baby”, “with child” when referring to unborn children. These terms are therefore evidence that human life is present before birth. Therefore the abortion of an unborn child is the shedding of innocent human blood.

 

GOD OFFERS FORGIVENESS IF YOU HAVE HAD AN ABORTION

It’s important to note that God can forgive any sin no matter how bad we think our sins are. God can forgive any person who has had an abortion.

1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”

God is also able to help us deal with the guilt and pain of abortion. He is also able to help us to move forward. However, we must genuinely come to Him and confess and repent.

Jesus Christ paid for ALL our sins – past, present & future. To receive forgiveness and everlasting life we must accept Jesus Christ as our Lord & Saviour.

 

Have You Accepted Jesus Christ? Are You Born Again Christian?
If you are reading this article and have never given your life to Jesus Christ, it’s important to know that Jesus died for your sins. He took your punishment on the cross so that whoever accepts Him in faith will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
As mentioned above, salvation is a FREE GIFT and salvation is not received by works but it is received by FAITH in Jesus Christ. It is that simple. A person must repent & by faith accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Saviour because Jesus is the only way, the truth & the life and the only Mediator between God & man.

 

DO YOU WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN / A FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST???

1. ACKNOWLEDGE: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). “God be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13).
You must acknowledge that you are a sinner and that you therefore need Jesus in your life.

2. REPENT: “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3), “Repent therefore and be converted that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19)
Repenting means: to change your mind; a sincere turning away, in heart, mind and action;
Therefore God wants you to repent of sinful values and of sinful living. God wants you to decide to
follow Him and to make Jesus the Lord of your life.

3. CONFESSION: “If we confess our sins. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9)
God is a forgiving God. God will forgive any sin that you have done because Jesus died for ALL your sins and to set you free from the bondage of all types of sin in your life.

4. BELIEVE: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting” (John 3:16). “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16)
You must believe that ONLY Jesus can save you and restore your relationship with God. You must believe that Jesus is the ONLY way by which you can have everlasting life and escape from eternal separation from God. You must believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and resurrected from the grave.

5. RECEIVE: “He came to His own, and His own did not receive him, But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name” (John 1:11-12)
By faith, You must receive Jesus as Your Lord & Saviour and therefore; you become a child of God; you become born again; you become a Christian; you restore your broken relationship with God
Why not make your eternal decision now and pray the following prayer?

You can say this prayer below. This prayer is only an expression of your trust & belief in Jesus. Salvation is only through FAITH in Christ (Galatians 3:26)

If you desire to express your faith in Jesus through prayer but you’re not sure what to say, you are free to say the prayer below

“Lord Jesus, I thank You for Your love. I thank You that You died on the cross for me and resurrected so that I may have life through You.
I confess Lord that I have sinned against You and today I ask You to forgive me of all of my sins, past present and future.
I repent of all of my sins and I ask You to cleanse me Jesus.
Thank You for forgiving my sins.
From this moment, come into my life Lord Jesus & take full control of my life. I want to follow You Jesus and I want to follow Your ways. Save me and from today, make me the person You want me to be.
I receive You Lord Jesus right now by faith. I make You my Lord and Saviour
Amen”

If you have accepted Jesus today as a result of what you have read please click the “I Have Accepted Jesus Christ Today” button

acceptJesus1

 

How Can I Make My Marriage Work?

 

Why are so many marriages falling apart? How does it happen that 2 people fall in love, get married and then divorce a few months or years later? Did these people not understand the meaning of love? Did they not understand the meaning of marriage? Did they not understand the commitment required to make a marriage work?

Marriage is a good and divine institution. However, like many good things it requires work, commitment and of course TRUE love to keep it alive.

Am I ready for marriage? How can I make my marriage work? If you’ve asked yourself these questions, below are at least 11 things you should know about marriage if you intend to get married or if you are already in a marriage relationship.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Understand That There Are Certain Things About Your Spouse’s Character That You Might Never Ever Change?

Let’s face it. If your spouse had certain habits or certain undesirable characteristics 20 years before you got married, it’s unlikely that your spouse is going to change those undesirable habits or characteristics overnight. Many people whilst dating assume that when they get married it will be easier to change some of their spouse’s habits because they’ll be living together. Sometimes it’s not the case and habits or characteristics that have been engrained in a person’s personality do not change easily.
If a person will not change – don’t focus so much on strategizing how to change the person. Rather just love the person as they are – yes, with their bad habits. Don’t be too critical or judgmental. You might discover that you’re also not so perfect yourself and that there are things in your own personality that need to change too.
1 Peter 4:8NKJV – And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins”.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Realise That Love Is Not A Feeling – But It’s A Mindset & A Doing-Word?

Love is not a feeling. Love is not an overwhelming strong “force” that takes over 2 people who are meant to be together. Feelings are temporary. Feelings come and go depending on the external situation or circumstance.
True love however, remains the same irrespective of the external circumstances. True love is a mindset. You love a person whether they deserve to be loved or not. You love a person even when they are at their worst state. Love is a choice. You don’t feel it but you choose to love.
Many people get married without understanding the difference between love and lust. Others get married without understanding the difference between infatuation and love. Some get married without understanding the meaning of love at all.
1 John 3:18NKJV – My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Forgive Your Spouse For The Same Mistakes Over & Over & Over & Over & Over Again – And Still Love Your Spouse Anyway?

One of the reasons why many marriages eventually fail is because of lack of forgiveness. Spouses cannot forgive each other for past errors or faults. Having a forgiving attitude will help one’s marriage to last but having a vengeful and unforgiving approach to marriage will destroy the marriage. Unforgiveness will also cause communication problems and resentment.
Matthew 18:21-22NKJV – Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Stay Married Till Death Do-You-Part?

Contrary to the worldly culture and standards, marriage is not a human contract. Marriage was created by God and marriage is defined by God. Part of God’s rules for marriage is that divorce is not an option.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment to love & live with your spouse. This commitment does not change because your feelings change. This commitment does not change because your spouse no longer has a well-paying job. This commitment does not change because your spouse no longer looks beautiful. According to God, marriage is for life.
Malachi 2:16 NKJV – “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

 

  1. Are You Willing To Lose A Fight or Argument Even If You’re Right?

There are many reasons why couples fight and argue; bad habits; money; sex; communication and the like are one of the many reasons. In marriage, it’s not about who is right and who is wrong. Humility is an important character to have in a marriage. Would you rather be right & continue to be enemies in the home – or would you rather be peacefully reconciled and in humility agree to disagree?
In a marriage where 2 people come from 2 different family backgrounds & have had 2 different life experiences there is always the likely chance that as a couple you will not always agree on every topic or issue.
Differences will always arise even in the best marriages. The question is, how do you handle your differences as a couple?
1 Corinthians 13:4-5NKJV – Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

 

  1. Are You Willing to be Faithful & Never Cheat Including During the Worst of Times?

There is no good excuse for cheating on a spouse. Adultery is a sin no matter how bad your marriage becomes. There are many reasons why a spouse may cheat but none of those reasons are good enough before God’s eyes. God honours faithful people. Faithfulness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Hebrews 13:4NKJV – Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Discover New Surprising Things About Your Spouse BUT Still Love Him Anyway?

Before couples get married they always make the mistake of assuming that they know their partner very well. The truth is, no person truly knows their spouse until they begin to stay together. Before you’re married you may know a small percentage of your partner’s personality, but the truth is you will learn more of who he is and what type of person he is during your marriage. You can be married to your spouse for 15 years and still discover that there are many things (good and bad) that you did not know about your spouse.
However, whatever surprising new things you find out about your spouse – are you willing to continue to be committed and to love that person? Remember – love is not a feeling.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8NKJV – (Love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Love An Imperfect Person?

Are you a perfect person? If you’re not perfect, would you still want someone to still love you?
None of us are perfect in this world. We are all a bunch of imperfect people falling in love and getting married to other imperfect people.
Therefore if 2 imperfect people get married, you’re going to have an imperfect marriage that might be full of disagreements & differences.
In marriage, don’t focus on the imperfections – but focus on the strengths; focus on the good things in the marriage; focus on the things that can make the marriage stronger and better.
John 15:12NKJV – This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Realize That Love, Sex & Romance Isn’t What Celebrities & The Hollywood Films Teach?

Celebrities and Hollywood is the last place that any serious couple should want to learn about love and marriage. Hollywood films only distort the meaning of true love and true marriage. Married celebrities themselves are not good examples to learn from about marriage because their marriages never last. Yet Hollywood culture has had a subtle effect on how we think and view issues related to love, sex and marriage.
Hollywood & celebrities have given the youth and many others the subtle perception that our definition of love, sex & romance should be as we have seen and experienced it in the films that we watch.
Colossians 2:8NKJV – Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Love & Stay With Your Spouse During Financial Challenges?

Money is one of the major reasons why marriages collapse. The Bible says that money is the root of all kinds of evil.
Money is the reason why some people want to get married to someone.
Money is the bait that some people use to persuade someone to marry them.
However, money should not be the foundation of any relationship – especially marriage.
The foundation of a good marriage should be God & His word, love, commitment & trust.
1 Timothy 6:9,10NKJV – But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Accept Your  Specific Marital Roles As Husband & Wife

In any kind of institution, team or grouping, people will always have different functions and different roles to play. It’s the same thing in a marriage. According to God’s word, the husband has his role and the wife has her role. Whenever their respective marital roles are not performed or if their roles are reversed – this situation will cause problems in the marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-28NKJV – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself

 

So are you ready for marriage? Or are you willing to make your marriage work?
Remember – marriage comes from God. Approach your relationships prayerfully. As long as we are on this earth, our relationships are not going to be problem-free. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect relationships. The question is – are you willing to selflessly & prayefully do the right thing to make your relationship work according to God’s principles.

 

 

 

 

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