Category: Marriage & Family

The Problem with Sexual Infidelity

It is estimated that more than 30% of all married individuals (in any country) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage.

Some of the major reasons why people commit adultery is related to the following:
• People having had multiple sexual partners before marriage
• People having an abnormal sexual desire with different partners due to the influence of pornography
• People who have marital problems with their spouses
• People who spend a greater time away from a spouse
• People who have a perverted mindset and see other women as sexual conquests
• People who have been joined through an arranged or forced marriage

Sexual immorality and infidelity is a never ending problem in society and it is only growing worse.
The Greek word for “sexual immorality” is [Porneia] which means “fornication”, “prostitution” and “idolatry”.
Fornication is the sexual relations between people who are not married to each other. However, infidelity or adultery is the sexual relations between a married person and a partner who is not the lawful spouse.

The Bible speaks against all kinds of sexual immorality such as incest, homosexuality, bestiality, adultery and fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Leviticus 20:13; Exodus 22:19).


The issue of infidelity however is a huge problem in society for several reasons.

Adultery Destroys Marriages & Families
Adultery destroys the marriage of the cheating spouse. More than 53% of marriages end up in divorce due to infidelity. This automatically results in destroyed families and children are faced with the emotional, psychological and social impact of being raised by divorced parents. Adultery is heart-breaking to both the children and the spouse who has become the victim of a cheating partner


Adultery Creates a Generational Curse
Nathan prophesied to King David because of his adultery in 2 Samuel 12:10-11: Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ 11 Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.

After David committed adultery, he may have been forgiven but David still experienced the generational consequences of his sinful actions. Bathsheba’s son died (2 Samuel 12:14) then Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13:14). Later Absalom kills Amnon for raping Tamar (2 Samuel 13:28-29) and escapes to a foreign land (2 Samuel 13:38). Absalom returns after 3 years and then attempts to overthrow his father David from the throne (2 Samuel 15:6).
Absalom also sleeps with one of David’s concubines (2 Samuel 14:28) and later has sex in public with 10 of his father’s concubines.
Another of David’s sons – King Solomon had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines, and his wives turned away his heart from God (1 Kings 11:3-4).

Adultery is an iniquitous sin that spreads within a family’s generation and becomes worse with each new generation.



Adultery is Rebellion Against God
Adultery is a sin that reflects the adulterer’s lack of respect for God’s union of marriage. The adulterer lacks an understanding of the purpose and origins of marriage. Marriage was originated by God and He desires that the marriage bed be respected.
Hebrews 13:4 says: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
An adulterous person does not honor marriage and his unrepentant actions will eventually lead to God’s judgment.


Adultery Destroys Society
Destroy a marriage and you destroy a family. Destroy a family and you destroy a community. Destroy a community and you destroy a city. Destroy a city and you destroy a nation.
One of the major ways that the devil is destroying society is by destroying marriage and the family.
For a long time – the act of adultery has been normalized and virtually accepted as normal yet in God’s eyes, infidelity is a serious sin and it is an insult to God’s covenant of marriage.
The enemy therefore uses sexual immorality as a weapon against God and against mankind.
If there are many single mothers; orphaned children; broken relationships and divorced couples – it’s because these are all linked to the problem of sexual immorality.


Bible Verses on Sexual Immorality
• God created the body for purity not for sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:13)
• God hates divorce (Malachi 2:14-16)
• God does not support people who break-up other people’s marriages (Mark 10:9)
• God hates all forms of sexual immorality (Galatians 5:19-21, Ephesians 5:5, Revelation 22:15)
• God commands us to flee all forms of sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18)
• God judges the sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• God commands that a sexual relationship occurs exclusively within marriage (Hebrews 13:4)


Should a Christian Date or Marry a Non-Christian?

Should a Christian date or marry a non-Christian? 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14 gives an important principle about what all Christians should heed when it comes to having any type of binding partnership with a non-Christian.
Dating and marriage is a binding partnership that involves intimate feelings, emotions, thoughts and physical bonding. Marriage especially is not just a physical contract but it is a spiritual covenant which God ordained.
Therefore it’s important to make the correct Biblical choices when it comes to the issue of dating and marriage.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character”.
According to 1 Corinthians 15:33 it is a deception to believe that a Christian can be in a binding relationship with an unbeliever and not be affected.
When a Christian dates or marries an unbeliever the results might likely become negative.

When a Christian has an intimate relationship with an unbeliever, this can lead to a hindrance in the Christian’s spiritual growth.
For example, if you’re dating a non-Christian, the temptation to have premarital sex may become stronger than if you were dating a Christian believer who has Biblical values about sex.
Therefore when a Christian dates or marries a non-Christian there can be cultural and spiritual friction and contrasts in the relationship which could eventually lead to detrimental problems.
When 2 people who have directly opposite value systems and beliefs get married or start dating, the relationship will have problems and issues that are based on those opposing value systems.

One of the main objectives of marriage is that both husband and wife cleave to each other.
Ephesians 5:31 says “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
The only way for a husband and wife to cleave or be united is if their core values and beliefs are similar.
Therefore if a Christian is dating an atheist or a Buddhist then they will both have opposing value systems that can affect various areas of the relationship.

What are the Benefits if a Christian Dates or Marries another Christian?
1. You share the same value systems and you believe in the same God.
2. A married couple where both spouses are Christians can easily cleave and bond
3. It is easier to sharpen each other’s spirits. Therefore you can encourage and pray for each other and grow spiritually together
4. You are likely to fight less than if you were dating an unbeliever. You can become united in mind and spirit when attempting to deal with life challenges together.
5. As Christians you are able to put God at the centre of your relationship and marriage. A marriage with God at the centre will always succeed even in the face of challenges.

It’s therefore wise and beneficial for a Christian to date or marry another Christian.

Is Abstinence Before Marriage Realistic? 7 Ways to Abstain

Is abstinence before marriage a realistic choice in our modern culture? Should our modern culture continue to encourage premarital sex or protected sex instead of abstinence? What practical steps can a person take to successfully abstain until marriage?

Studies reflect that only 29 percent of people in the United States consider the act of having sex before marriage as being morally wrong, while 97 percent of people in a country like Indonesia believe that premarital sex is unacceptable. In Europe, the majority of Europeans believe that premarital sex is acceptable. The same study also says that in religions such as Catholicism and Islam, having sex before marriage is morally unacceptable. In African countries, there are also strong cultural beliefs that sex before marriage is morally wrong.
Therefore, people’s perception of abstinence and premarital sex depends on 3 major factors which are – geographical location, one’s culture and one’s religious beliefs.

However, what does the Bible say about abstinence? Is abstinence a realistic option especially in the 21st century culture? What practical steps can a person take to ensure that he/she successfully abstains from sex until he/she gets married?

There are many verses in the Bible that declare sex before marriage to be a sin.
For example, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, Mark 7:21 and Colossians 3:5.
Therefore sex was created by God in order to be enjoyed only within the confines of marriage.

Is abstinence realistic? Yes it is. A spiritual understanding of sex and spiritual conviction plays a big role in helping one to practically abstain.


So what are the practical steps that you can take to abstain from sex before marriage?

  1. Don’t put yourself in situations where you might be tempted to compromise your sexual purity or values.
  2. Have boundaries and uphold the boundaries. Date a person who has the same beliefs about abstinence as you do. If both of you have the same convictions about waiting before marriage then you are likely to be successful.
  3. Avoid material such as pornography or any entertainment which have heavy messages on promoting premarital sex. Such material is bound to progressively lead you into temptation by polluting your mind.
  4. Make yourself accountable to someone or to people you can trust and who uphold the same values that you have about abstaining until marriage.
  5. Always remember that God’s word is the ultimate authority. Abstaining from sex until marriage is God’s will and through obedience, we are expressing Christ’s nature and character in our life.
  6. Always remember that God designed sex to be enjoyed – but only within the confines of marriage. Therefore you and your partner will reap the long-term benefits of obeying God’s word in this area.
  7. Always involve God when it comes to your feelings, temptations and relationship. Never remove God from the equation in your relationship. Ask Him to always give you the strength to abstain and keep you from being tempted into premarital sex.


Abstinence prevents some of the following problems
1. It prevents abortions or unwanted pregnancies
2. It prevents sexually transmitted infections
3. It prevents teenage pregnancies
4. It prevents mistrust caused by previous sexual relationships
5. It prevents the chance of children who grow up with single mothers
6. It may even prevent you from marrying the wrong person


Have You Already Had Premarital Sex?
If you already had sex before marriage, the Bible says that there is God’s forgiveness which is always available. If we confess our sins, God is just and faithful to forgive us of every sin – including sex before marriage (1 John 1:9).
Therefore, even if a person has had premarital sex, that person still has an opportunity to repent and start focusing on obeying the word of God in that area.

Sex Before Marriage – 6 Problems with Premarital Sex

Is sex before marriage right or wrong? With the exception of various Muslim nations such as Indonesia, Pakistan, Turkey or Jordan, most people in many other nations have taken a more relaxed and tolerant view regarding sex before marriage. Most societies and cultures believe it is acceptable for a person to have sexual relations with one or more people before committing to marriage. In fact, if you’ve never had premarital sex or if you’re a virgin, then you’re more likely to be ridiculed, frowned upon or disbelieved.

However, does the fact that society has normalized premarital sex mean that sex before marriage is a good thing? Aren’t there any problems that are associated with premarital sex? Also, what does the Bible say about sex before marriage?

It’s an undeniable fact that sex is pleasurable and sex is meant to be enjoyed. However there are Biblical guidelines from God that relate to sexual relationships.
According to the Bible, premarital sex is considered to be a sin. Scriptures such as Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, Mark 7:21 and Colossians 3:5 highlight fornication as being an unacceptable act or lifestyle in the eyes of God.

People might be tempted to believe that God is just a “killjoy” who doesn’t want people to have a “good time”.

So the question is this: If sex is meant to be enjoyed and if sex is pleasurable – then WHY would God prohibit two consenting individuals from having sex just because they are not married?
The truth is – having sex before marriage has caused many social and spiritual problems in society.

Too often people focus on the “enjoyment” and “pleasurable” part of sex without understanding the other aspects of sex, such as procreation, the Biblical guidelines and also the negative effects of having sex outside of marriage.

If the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed by society, then we would have very few of the following problems:

  1. We would have few abortions or unwanted pregnancies
  2. We would have few sexually transmitted infections
  3. We would have few teenage pregnancies
  4. We would have few divorces due to mistrust caused by previous sexual relationships
  5. We would have fewer children who grow up with single mothers.
  6. Premarital sex also creates spiritual problems in relation to a person’s relationship with God. If one is not repentant, a person can distance himself from God simply because of guilt and shame.

However, God is a forgiving God. If we receive Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior and confess our sins, God is just and faithful to forgive us of every sin – including sex before marriage (1 John 1:9).
Therefore, even if a person has had premarital sex, that person still has an opportunity to repent and start focusing on obeying the word of God in that area.


Qualities of a Good Parent

Parenting in the 21st Century has become more challenging than it has ever been.
We live in world where Biblical and principled parenting is under attack. Many anti-family and anti-parenting concepts have been introduced in the world with the deliberate intention of completely changing the Biblical concept of what it means to be a good parent.

In the life of a child in the 21st century, a mother and father are no longer the only parents of a particular child. In our ungodly world, a single child has more than just a mother and father as his/her parents.
Unfortunately, the television has also become the parent; the internet & social media have become the parent; the popular half-naked celebrities have become the parents; the atheist school teacher has become the parent; even the government has become the parent.

However, should parenting problems only be blamed on television, celebrities, social media and the like? Perhaps part of the blame might also go to many parents themselves who have surrendered to worldly values and therefore fail to bring up their children in a godly manner.

So the question is – what are the qualities of a good parent? What does the Bible say is the duty of a parent and why is it important to practice good parenting skills.


Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
The best human authority figures to train up a growing child are the parents of that particular child.
Training for life and training pertaining to values and principles should not be left to the internet sites, celebrities or even the Sunday school teacher.
It is the duty of a good parent to teach and train a child the correct values and principles for that child to become a good and godly person in life and society.
Children are products of what they have been taught by the authority figures in the lives. For example, a child who grows up to be a violent and abusive adult may have been taught directly or indirectly by an authority figure in his life that violence and abuse is the answer to solving problems.
A good parent must also understand that children do not only learn through our words only, but they also learn by watching our behavior and actions within the home.
The “do as I say and not as I do” concept does not work in relation to parenting. Instead a good parent teaches and trains a child by being an example.


Proverbs 13:22 says A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
A good parent does not only live for his own generation. Good parents do not live and create wealth only for themselves and then leave their children with nothing by the time the parents die.
Good parents will always work and live with the next generation of their family in mind.
Even God thinks generationally. Therefore a good parent must leave wealth, knowledge and godly values that will equip and help the family for generations.
Therefore just bad certain sins and iniquities can be observed & experienced generationally within a particular family, it is also possible that wealth and many other blessings can be observed & experienced generationally within a family.
It is therefore up to parents to ensure that they bless the next generation and not curse them.


Hebrews 12:7 says It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Proverbs 19:18 says Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death
The discipline of a child is an important part when it comes to parenting. It is also important for the development of the child as well.
Discipline not only asserts who is in authority between a parent and child, but it also teaches the child to respect different authorities in life.
Discipline also helps a child to understand that there can be consequences to making bad or irresponsible life choices & decisions.
Therefore discipline should always be done in love. Discipline should be done to teach and not necessarily to simply “punish”.
It’s also important for a parent to understand the difference between discipline and abuse.
Abuse does not build up a child. Abuse destroys a child’s development. However, while discipline might not be popular to a child for a while, the discipline will lead to positive results in a child’s development.
The Bible therefore encourages parents to discipline their children because it will ultimately benefit the child as he/she grows and develops.


Titus 2:4 says “that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children”.
Love is an important virtue of any human and interpersonal relationship. Children are supposed to first learn the meaning of love through their parents. Within the family, love is not only reflected by words alone, but children are capable of understanding what love is, through the actions and behavior of their parents.
If love and affection is not shown or reflected in the home, a child will also become unloving or unaffectionate when he/she grows up.
However, every person – especially children, yearn for love and affection and this is a need that every parent must reflect towards his/her child.


Matthew 19:13-14 says Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
A good parent allows his/her children to relate with Jesus Christ. A good parent will not hinder his/her child from having a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. A good parent will desire for his/her child to go to church and fellowship with Bible believing Christians.
One of the most important duties of a parent is to point a child to focus on Jesus Christ and to enable the child to one day make a personal decision to accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Saviour.
The whole point of training up a child as mentioned in Proverbs 22:6 is so that the child may grow up to become a godly person who has a relationship with Christ.


1 Timothy 5:8 says But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
A good parent provides for the physical, emotional and psychological needs of his/her child. Even if a husband and wife are divorced, it is important for the divorced parents to look after the welfare of their child.
Children should not have to be neglected just because the parents are divorced. Therefore both mother and father have an obligation to provide for their child or children.


Deuteronomy 11:18-19 says “You shall therefore lay up these words of Mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.

Ultimately parents are required to obey the word of God in every area of life. Parents are then required by God to teach the word of God to their children.
Parents are encouraged by God to pass on spiritual and godly values for life to their own kids and thereby create a better, godly generation.

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