Category: Love, Marriage & Family

6 Men That Single Women Should Avoid

Are you dating? Are you considering marriage?
Choosing a spouse is the third most important decision you will ever make. The first most important decision in your life is becoming a born again Christian and the second is choosing the right church.

Therefore if you’re single and if you’re looking for the right person to live with for the rest of your life, what warning signs should you look for before you consider a serious relationship with a man?

Below are a 6 types of men that single women should avoid

(1) An Unbeliever
2 Corinthians 6:14-15Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
The Bible is clear that in the context of binding relationships such as marriage, a Christian does not have anything in common with a non-Christian or unbeliever. A marriage can last when both partners have God involved in their individual lives and are willing to involve God to be at the centre of their marriage.
Therefore it’s important for single women to pray to God to discover a Christian man who genuinely loves the Lord.

(2) A Man Who Dislikes Children
There are millions of single mothers around the world who raise their children alone because many men have abandoned the responsibility of fatherhood. Why do men abandon fatherhood? Most of them are ill-equipped, lack responsibility and dislike children. A man who loves children will not abandon the kids whom he has brought into the world irrespective of the sexual choices he has made.
Proverbs 13:22A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.
It’s important for a single woman to find out if her man is somebody who genuinely loves children and will not dump her the moment she becomes pregnant.

(3) A Violent & Abusive Man
If a man is abusive and violent before you get married – it’s most likely that such a man will continue this abuse in the marriage. Single women should avoid getting involved with men who are violent and abusive. Instead they should seek men who will nourish and cherish them.
Ephesians 5:28-29So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

(4) A Man Without A Plan
A woman generally looks for security within a man. When a man has no direction or purpose in his life it could be a problem in the long run. God’s principle in a marriage is that the husband is to lead the home and if a husband has no vision or plan, he will fail to lead his family.
Ephesians 5:23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

(5) An Unfaithful Man
Unfaithfulness in a relationship will lead to anger, pain, mistrust and ultimately a broken relationship.
Unfaithfulness is always a warning sign that a woman should heed before she gets married as adultery is the cause of many broken marriages around the world.
Hebrews 13:4Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Fornication is when an unmarried person is sexually active. Adultery is when a married person is sexually active with another person who is not his spouse.
God does not agree with fornication and adultery because these practices destroy the faithfulness of a person and whilst it may appear pleasurable to engage in sex outside of marriage, the effects are negative and damaging to long term relationships.

(6) A Man Who Abuses Substances
Out of the abuse of drugs and alcohol can come many relationship issues: Physical abuse, financial issues, communication breakdown; sexual & infidelity issues and also spiritual issues. Therefore a man who is addicted to drugs or alcohol will end up causing these kind of issues in a relationship.
Ephesians 5:18And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,

 

The best man that single women can find, is a godly man who loves God and has genuine Christian values.
Are you looking for the right husband? Pray and seek the mind of God and search His word regarding the qualities of a godly person.

 

Foundations of a Good Marriage

What are the tips for a good marriage? What are the foundations of a good marriage?
Every marriage needs a good foundation for such a union to stand strong through the tests and trials of life.
Below are at least 7 areas that are important to having a good marriage.

1. LEAVE & CLEAVE
Genesis 2:24 NKJVTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Have you ever had problems with your in-laws despite of the fact that your in-laws lived in a different home? Well, imagine the kind of problems you would have if you lived with your in-laws in the same house.
Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall leave his mother & father to live with his wife and they shall become one flesh.
Therefore 2 things are important in this scripture in order to establish a good foundation for marriage:
a) A man (and wife) must LEAVE his/her parents. This means leaving your parent’s home so that you and your spouse can live under a different roof.
b) A man (and wife) must CLEAVE to his/her spouse. This speaks of becoming united and inseparable.

Therefore it is difficult for a married couple to leave & cleave if they are still under the roof of their parents or influence of other family members.

2. A HUSBAND WHO LOVES
Ephesians 5:25 NKJVHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
According to Ephesians 5:25-33, husbands are required to love their wives. The kind of love described is an unfailing and unconditional love.
The husband is required to love his wife in 3 ways:
a) Love as Christ loves the Church & gave Himself for her (vs 25)
b) Love his wife as he loves himself or his own body (vs 28,33)
c) Love by nourishing & cherishing her as Christ does the church (vs 29)
Nourishing is defined as: providing with food or other substances necessary for growth, health and good condition
Cherishing is defined as: to protect and care for someone lovingly

3. A HUSBAND WHO LEADS
Ephesians 5:23 NKJVFor the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Husbands are to lead their families. The scriptures describe the husband as the one who is head just as Christ is Head over the Church.
Every institution, including the institution of marriage must have a leader. God in His infinite wisdom has declared that a husband is to lead the wife. Leading one’s family does not mean becoming a dictator or autocratic in the home. A husband is ultimately accountable to God for how he leads his wife and family. Just as Adam was ultimately accountable to God for the fall of man and for allowing Eve to be deceived (Genesis 3:17), the husband is responsible to God and the husbands provides a covering for his wife.

4. A WIFE WHO SUBMITS
Ephesians 5:22-24 NKJVWives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
Submission does not mean that a wife cannot disagree with her husband. Submission does not make the wife a slave or a servant of the husband. Neither does submission suggest that the wife is in any form less equal to her husband. Both husband and wife are equal before God, however it is only their functions within the marriage which differ.
Submission is the act of yielding or consenting to the authority of another. Submission incorporates voluntary obedience and respect.
According to Ephesians 5:22-24, wives are required to submit to their husbands in the following ways:
a) Submit to your own husband
b) Submit as unto the Lord
Why are wives required to submit and not the husbands? The answer is found in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church…”
The Church is the bride of Christ whilst Christ is the bridegroom. Therefore the marriage between a husband and wife parallels the marriage between Christ & the Church.

5. A WIFE WHO RESPECTS HER HUSBAND
Ephesians 5:33 NKJVNevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
It’s interesting to note that under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul does not also ask wives to love their husbands. Love of course is an important foundation of any relationship and both husbands and wives must love one another in their relationship. However, the Scriptures emphasize that wives must respect their husbands. Why? The male personality in a marriage apparently yearns for respect from his wife. Men tend to respond better and feel more appreciated when they are respected by their wives.
Submission and respect are like 2 sides of the same coin. A wife who respects her husband will automatically submit to him. Also a wife who submits to her husband does so because she respects her husband.

6. TRANSPARENT COMMUNICATION
Ephesians 4:25-26 NKJVTherefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
Secrets and lies are never a good foundation for any relationship, including a marriage. Every relationship is built on trust. If a couple cannot trust one another, it is difficult for that relationship to stand or grow.
It’s therefore imperative for couples to always be transparent and open in relation to one’s feelings, one’s thoughts, and one’s perspectives.
A couple should not keep grudges between each other nor should they allow issues or problems to remain unresolved or uncommunicated.
Therefore leaving issues unresolved is dangerous to the relationship.

7. GOD AT THE CENTRE OF THE MARRIAGE
Marriage itself is not an institution that was created by man. Marriage was created by God. Therefore God is the One who set the guidelines as to how a marriage should function & what roles the husband and wife play in the relationship.
A marriage that is without God and without the mind of God in it is bound to fail.
Therefore God is the most important foundation for any relationship, including marriage.

Genesis 2:21-24 NKJV
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

 

 

Do Unborn Lives Matter?

Do unborn lives matter? Is abortion really justifiable? Why is abortion wrong?

  • Imagine if somebody tried to kill you in your sleep. Imagine yourself being killed without the opportunity to defend yourself verbally and physically.
  • Imagine that while you slept, the people who want to kill you considered your existence on this earth to be a mistake.
  • Imagine while you slept, people voted & deliberated as to whether you should be put to death or not. Imagine that even while you slept the people who want you killed believed that you are a “lesser being” and therefore your personal opinion or rights regarding your existence did not matter.
  • Imagine while you slept that the people who want to murder you thought that your existence was a hindrance to their own lives. Imagine that while you slept, the people who would desire to have you killed decided that they could not allow you to live another 9 months because your existence within those 9 months was unbearable for them.
  • Imagine while you slept that the people who would wish you dead considered you to be less than human in order to justify the terrible thing that they are about to do to you.

Whilst unborn babies sleep inside their mother’s womb there are people who plot the abortion of their unborn children. Many mothers & fathers selfishly deliberate whether to abort their children or not. Abortion is wrong. It’s not of God not matter what the laws of a country will say. The law of God stands above the man-made laws of a nation. God has a plan for unborn babies and the act of aborting an unborn baby is a sin against God.

Jeremiah 1:4,5 says “Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

 

To the people who believe that abortion is okay, it’s important to conscientise them of the following:

  1. It’s easy to support abortion when you’re not the one being killed.
  2. Take the time to remember and acknowledge that your own mother did not abort you.
  3. Would you have preferred it if your own parent(s) had aborted you – and for your potential to be born to be taken away from you whilst not having any choice in the matter?
  4. If a baby is in the womb of a woman and if that baby is breathing – then is it not alive?
  5. If a “fetus” is not alive – then why do you have to kill it?

 

In certain countries a person can be fined heavily for more than $10000 or face long imprisonment for killing an endangered animal. It is illegal for example, to kill an eagle egg but yet in the same countries it is okay/legal to have an abortion of an unborn child for any reason.

God clearly reveals to us that an unborn child matters and that we as people are more important than even the birds.

Matthew 6:26 says “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Are we not of more value than birds? The value of a human life is more important than any animal – yet our world has put the value & rights of an unborn animal above the value of an unborn human life.

Whilst abortionists or pro-abortion activists would disagree, the word of God clearly reveals to us that unborn lives indeed matter. God values an unborn child. The term “with child” is mentioned more than 20 times when referring to a pregnant woman. The Bible does not mention the word “fetus” at all and neither does the word of God refer to an unborn child as being inhuman until it is born.

 

Why Is Abortion Wrong?

  • An unborn child is not a “fetus”. It is human. The DNA of an unborn child already comes from its biological mother and father. Humans produce humans. Humans do not produce a different kind of creature. This therefore makes the act of abortion an act of killing another human being.
  • An unborn child is innocent and it is a creation of God. Therefore God has a plan and a purpose for that child (Jeremiah 1:4,5). To abort an unborn baby would be to interfere in the plan of God for that child.
  • An unborn child is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26,27). An unborn child is therefore of more value than an animal. Whilst animals are good and important to the earth, the value of an unborn child outweighs the value of any animal (Matthew 6:26). Animals were not made in God’s image. Humans were made in His image.
  • God’s word uses the terms “child”, “son”, “daughter”, “baby”, “with child” when referring to unborn children. These terms are therefore evidence that human life is present before birth. Therefore the abortion of an unborn child is the shedding of innocent human blood.

 

GOD OFFERS FORGIVENESS IF YOU HAVE HAD AN ABORTION

It’s important to note that God can forgive any sin no matter how bad we think our sins are. God can forgive any person who has had an abortion.

1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”

God is also able to help us deal with the guilt and pain of abortion. He is also able to help us to move forward. However, we must genuinely come to Him and confess and repent.

Jesus Christ paid for ALL our sins – past, present & future. To receive forgiveness and everlasting life we must accept Jesus Christ as our Lord & Saviour.

 

Have You Accepted Jesus Christ? Are You Born Again Christian?
If you are reading this article and have never given your life to Jesus Christ, it’s important to know that Jesus died for your sins. He took your punishment on the cross so that whoever accepts Him in faith will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
As mentioned above, salvation is a FREE GIFT and salvation is not received by works but it is received by FAITH in Jesus Christ. It is that simple. A person must repent & by faith accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Saviour because Jesus is the only way, the truth & the life and the only Mediator between God & man.

 

DO YOU WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN / A FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST???

1. ACKNOWLEDGE: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). “God be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13).
You must acknowledge that you are a sinner and that you therefore need Jesus in your life.

2. REPENT: “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3), “Repent therefore and be converted that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19)
Repenting means: to change your mind; a sincere turning away, in heart, mind and action;
Therefore God wants you to repent of sinful values and of sinful living. God wants you to decide to
follow Him and to make Jesus the Lord of your life.

3. CONFESSION: “If we confess our sins. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9)
God is a forgiving God. God will forgive any sin that you have done because Jesus died for ALL your sins and to set you free from the bondage of all types of sin in your life.

4. BELIEVE: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting” (John 3:16). “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16)
You must believe that ONLY Jesus can save you and restore your relationship with God. You must believe that Jesus is the ONLY way by which you can have everlasting life and escape from eternal separation from God. You must believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and resurrected from the grave.

5. RECEIVE: “He came to His own, and His own did not receive him, But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name” (John 1:11-12)
By faith, You must receive Jesus as Your Lord & Saviour and therefore; you become a child of God; you become born again; you become a Christian; you restore your broken relationship with God
Why not make your eternal decision now and pray the following prayer?

You can say this prayer below. This prayer is only an expression of your trust & belief in Jesus. Salvation is only through FAITH in Christ (Galatians 3:26)

If you desire to express your faith in Jesus through prayer but you’re not sure what to say, you are free to say the prayer below

“Lord Jesus, I thank You for Your love. I thank You that You died on the cross for me and resurrected so that I may have life through You.
I confess Lord that I have sinned against You and today I ask You to forgive me of all of my sins, past present and future.
I repent of all of my sins and I ask You to cleanse me Jesus.
Thank You for forgiving my sins.
From this moment, come into my life Lord Jesus & take full control of my life. I want to follow You Jesus and I want to follow Your ways. Save me and from today, make me the person You want me to be.
I receive You Lord Jesus right now by faith. I make You my Lord and Saviour
Amen”

If you have accepted Jesus today as a result of what you have read please click the “I Have Accepted Jesus Christ Today” button

acceptJesus1

 

How Can I Make My Marriage Work?

 

Why are so many marriages falling apart? How does it happen that 2 people fall in love, get married and then divorce a few months or years later? Did these people not understand the meaning of love? Did they not understand the meaning of marriage? Did they not understand the commitment required to make a marriage work?

Marriage is a good and divine institution. However, like many good things it requires work, commitment and of course TRUE love to keep it alive.

Am I ready for marriage? How can I make my marriage work? If you’ve asked yourself these questions, below are at least 11 things you should know about marriage if you intend to get married or if you are already in a marriage relationship.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Understand That There Are Certain Things About Your Spouse’s Character That You Might Never Ever Change?

Let’s face it. If your spouse had certain habits or certain undesirable characteristics 20 years before you got married, it’s unlikely that your spouse is going to change those undesirable habits or characteristics overnight. Many people whilst dating assume that when they get married it will be easier to change some of their spouse’s habits because they’ll be living together. Sometimes it’s not the case and habits or characteristics that have been engrained in a person’s personality do not change easily.
If a person will not change – don’t focus so much on strategizing how to change the person. Rather just love the person as they are – yes, with their bad habits. Don’t be too critical or judgmental. You might discover that you’re also not so perfect yourself and that there are things in your own personality that need to change too.
1 Peter 4:8NKJV – And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins”.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Realise That Love Is Not A Feeling – But It’s A Mindset & A Doing-Word?

Love is not a feeling. Love is not an overwhelming strong “force” that takes over 2 people who are meant to be together. Feelings are temporary. Feelings come and go depending on the external situation or circumstance.
True love however, remains the same irrespective of the external circumstances. True love is a mindset. You love a person whether they deserve to be loved or not. You love a person even when they are at their worst state. Love is a choice. You don’t feel it but you choose to love.
Many people get married without understanding the difference between love and lust. Others get married without understanding the difference between infatuation and love. Some get married without understanding the meaning of love at all.
1 John 3:18NKJV – My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Forgive Your Spouse For The Same Mistakes Over & Over & Over & Over & Over Again – And Still Love Your Spouse Anyway?

One of the reasons why many marriages eventually fail is because of lack of forgiveness. Spouses cannot forgive each other for past errors or faults. Having a forgiving attitude will help one’s marriage to last but having a vengeful and unforgiving approach to marriage will destroy the marriage. Unforgiveness will also cause communication problems and resentment.
Matthew 18:21-22NKJV – Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Stay Married Till Death Do-You-Part?

Contrary to the worldly culture and standards, marriage is not a human contract. Marriage was created by God and marriage is defined by God. Part of God’s rules for marriage is that divorce is not an option.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment to love & live with your spouse. This commitment does not change because your feelings change. This commitment does not change because your spouse no longer has a well-paying job. This commitment does not change because your spouse no longer looks beautiful. According to God, marriage is for life.
Malachi 2:16 NKJV – “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

 

  1. Are You Willing To Lose A Fight or Argument Even If You’re Right?

There are many reasons why couples fight and argue; bad habits; money; sex; communication and the like are one of the many reasons. In marriage, it’s not about who is right and who is wrong. Humility is an important character to have in a marriage. Would you rather be right & continue to be enemies in the home – or would you rather be peacefully reconciled and in humility agree to disagree?
In a marriage where 2 people come from 2 different family backgrounds & have had 2 different life experiences there is always the likely chance that as a couple you will not always agree on every topic or issue.
Differences will always arise even in the best marriages. The question is, how do you handle your differences as a couple?
1 Corinthians 13:4-5NKJV – Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

 

  1. Are You Willing to be Faithful & Never Cheat Including During the Worst of Times?

There is no good excuse for cheating on a spouse. Adultery is a sin no matter how bad your marriage becomes. There are many reasons why a spouse may cheat but none of those reasons are good enough before God’s eyes. God honours faithful people. Faithfulness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Hebrews 13:4NKJV – Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Discover New Surprising Things About Your Spouse BUT Still Love Him Anyway?

Before couples get married they always make the mistake of assuming that they know their partner very well. The truth is, no person truly knows their spouse until they begin to stay together. Before you’re married you may know a small percentage of your partner’s personality, but the truth is you will learn more of who he is and what type of person he is during your marriage. You can be married to your spouse for 15 years and still discover that there are many things (good and bad) that you did not know about your spouse.
However, whatever surprising new things you find out about your spouse – are you willing to continue to be committed and to love that person? Remember – love is not a feeling.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8NKJV – (Love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Love An Imperfect Person?

Are you a perfect person? If you’re not perfect, would you still want someone to still love you?
None of us are perfect in this world. We are all a bunch of imperfect people falling in love and getting married to other imperfect people.
Therefore if 2 imperfect people get married, you’re going to have an imperfect marriage that might be full of disagreements & differences.
In marriage, don’t focus on the imperfections – but focus on the strengths; focus on the good things in the marriage; focus on the things that can make the marriage stronger and better.
John 15:12NKJV – This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Realize That Love, Sex & Romance Isn’t What Celebrities & The Hollywood Films Teach?

Celebrities and Hollywood is the last place that any serious couple should want to learn about love and marriage. Hollywood films only distort the meaning of true love and true marriage. Married celebrities themselves are not good examples to learn from about marriage because their marriages never last. Yet Hollywood culture has had a subtle effect on how we think and view issues related to love, sex and marriage.
Hollywood & celebrities have given the youth and many others the subtle perception that our definition of love, sex & romance should be as we have seen and experienced it in the films that we watch.
Colossians 2:8NKJV – Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Love & Stay With Your Spouse During Financial Challenges?

Money is one of the major reasons why marriages collapse. The Bible says that money is the root of all kinds of evil.
Money is the reason why some people want to get married to someone.
Money is the bait that some people use to persuade someone to marry them.
However, money should not be the foundation of any relationship – especially marriage.
The foundation of a good marriage should be God & His word, love, commitment & trust.
1 Timothy 6:9,10NKJV – But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

 

  1. Are You Willing To Accept Your  Specific Marital Roles As Husband & Wife

In any kind of institution, team or grouping, people will always have different functions and different roles to play. It’s the same thing in a marriage. According to God’s word, the husband has his role and the wife has her role. Whenever their respective marital roles are not performed or if their roles are reversed – this situation will cause problems in the marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-28NKJV – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself

 

So are you ready for marriage? Or are you willing to make your marriage work?
Remember – marriage comes from God. Approach your relationships prayerfully. As long as we are on this earth, our relationships are not going to be problem-free. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect relationships. The question is – are you willing to selflessly & prayefully do the right thing to make your relationship work according to God’s principles.

 

 

 

 

Qualities of a Good Husband

Are you looking for a good husband? What are the qualities of a good husband? Is it money; his looks; his character?
Why do so many marriages start off well and then soon end up in divorce? Before you get married – how can you discern if the person you want to get married to is Mr Right?
Below are a few important areas you can look for in a potential good husband.

1. Does He Love God?
Does the man you love – love God? When a husband truly loves God, then it means he is a man who is willing to submit to God’s values and principles of how a family should be run and led. A husband who loves the Lord will seek to please the Lord and because he has godly values will always seek the direction of the Lord as he leads his family. A good husband is more than just a church-goer – but he is a true and obedient Christian.
Matthew 22:37-38 ESV – And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment.
Proverbs 3:1-2 ESV – My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

2. Is His Love For You Genuine?
If you are to truly perceive whether your man loves you, then you (yourself) need to also understand the true meaning and definition of what love is.
Love is more than just feelings. Love is more than whether or not he gives you flowers. Love is more than how much money he spends on you. Love is more than the little notes and poems he writes to you. Love is more than the physical experience of sex.
In fact – love is hard work. Love is not just a feeling – it’s a verb; it’s a “doing” word. Therefore love is not just what you feel – but what you do. Love exists even when there are problems and challenges in the relationship. Love is unconditional and it exists even when it is unwanted or not recognized.
Ephesians 5:28 ESV – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV – Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.

3. Does He Understand The Role of The Husband In A Marriage?
Would it be wise for a job seeker to commit themselves to a certain job without first knowing or understanding what duties that particular job entails? Would an employee be effective in his duties, if he did not know what is required of him? If a man is to be an effective husband then he must know what a husband IS; what a husband DOES; and HOW to be a husband.
Ephesians 5:23-28 ESV – For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

4. Does He Have a Vision or a Plan for Life & For A Family?
Do you want to marry a man who is good looking but doesn’t have a plan? Do you want to marry a man who is romantic but yet has no vision? Many single mothers exist because of men who do not have a plan and men who lack the knowledge and wisdom to lead a family. Many children will never know the identity of their fathers because of men who did not have a plan because of men who were too afraid to take responsibility in a relationship. If a man has decided that he wants to be a husband and that he wants to lead his family then that man must exercise wisdom and he must have a direction and plan in order to lead his wife and children.
Proverbs 3:13 NKJV – Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;

5. Is He Committed to You & The Relationship?
Does he appear like a man who will bail out when there is a problem or challenge? Does he still enjoy being single? Is he likely to cheat on you? The reason why divorce cases are so high is because people are no longer willing to be committed to a relationship. People would rather separate than work out their differences. Spouses have a self-centred, “whats-in-it-for-me?” attitude when they enter a relationship. A committed relationship is never always smooth – but every relationship requires work for it to succeed.
Matthew 5:31-32 ESV – “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Malachi 2:16 NIV – “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel …”
Matthew 5:27-29 ESV – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

6. Does He Love Children?
A man who loves children is a man with the capabilities of being a good father. Single mothers exist partly because of irresponsible men who do not love even their own children to the extent that such men will avoid the responsibility of taking care of their own kids. Therefore a good husband will see children as a blessing from God and not a mistake because children are never a “mistake” or an “accident”.
Psalm 127:3 – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

Conclusion
There are no perfect men in life. A woman should never be drawn or led by the flesh when looking for the right man. If a woman is to find a good husband, she needs to rely on more than just her feelings. She must more importantly rely on the wisdom and direction of the Lord.

 

Qualities of a Good Wife

Are you a single man looking for a good quality woman? Or are you a woman who is trying to be a more excellent person?
The word of God is very clear that a man who finds an excellent wife is a man who has found someone more precious than jewels (Proverbs 31:10). In other words: if you are a man – a virtuous woman is more valuable than any material possession and such a woman will bring more happiness to your life than any amount of money, silver or gold you could ever have.
Also if you are a woman who seeks to be virtuous or a man who seeks a virtuous woman, the Bible clearly defines in Proverbs 31:10-31 the type of qualities of a good wife.

1. A GOOD WIFE IS TRUSTWORTHY & DEPENDABLE
Proverbs 31:10-11 – An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
A husband cannot cope without a good wife because his wife is reliable, trustworthy and rock-steady.

2. A GOOD WIFE DOES GOOD & NOT HARM TO HER HUSBAND
Proverbs 31:12 – She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
A good wife does not work against her husband, but she works WITH her husband. Husband and wife should work together and not against each other.

3. A GOOD WIFE IS HARD-WORKING & INDUSTRIOUS
A good and virtuous wife doesn’t just expect to be provided for by her husband. A good wife however is also a provider herself together with her husband. She is not lazy but she is hard-working and she does what she can to play her part financially in the home. There is not just one breadwinner in the home – but both wife and husband are breadwinners.
Proverbs 31:13,15,18,27 – She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

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4. A GOOD WIFE IS STRONG & DIGNIFIED
Proverbs 31:17,25 – She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
If someone is dignified it means they are worthy of respect. Therefore a good wife carries herself well. She also has a strong personality and reflects it when she needs to.

5. A GOOD WIFE IS WISE & KNOWLEDGEABLE
Proverbs 31:26 – She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Husbands certainly don’t know everything. Therefore a man always needs his wife to give him advice and to help him in areas that he and the family might be struggling or attempting to achieve.

6. A GOOD WIFE IS GOD FEARING
Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
One of the greatest qualities any woman could have is to have reverence for God. A good wife will always understand the part that God plays in her life and in her family. Whatever she does in the household must give glory to God and ultimately her character must reflect the nature of God.

7. A GOOD WIFE HAS INNER BEAUTY
Proverbs 31:30-31 – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
They say – do not judge a book by its cover. A good wife does not only just focus on making her outward appearance look good. But however, she focuses on having a good character and personality. She is not hypocritical but she is beautiful inside more than she is on the outside.

8. A GOOD WIFE RESPECTS HER HUSBAND
Ephesians 5:22-24 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
God made the husband to be the head of the family. This does not mean that the wife is less important than a man but it simply means that in God’s eyes the husband has been given the leadership role in the marriage. A good wife therefore recognizes her husband’s leadership and respects and submits to her husband in the Lord.

There are many articles that focus on formulas for finding the right kind of woman. However, all the answers are found in God’s word of what kind of woman a man should marry and what kind of woman a wife should be.
Be blessed.

 

 

Qualities of A Good Father

1. A Good Father is a Positive Role Model
Psalm 1:1 – Blessed is the man, who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
It is said that a daughter’s first love is her father – and a son’s first hero is his father. Whether you know it or not, as a father you have a direct and indirect influence on your children. Children naturally will at times imitate the good and the bad things what they see in their father. However just as God who is good wants us to imitate Him, a good human father would want to see his children imitate the good things that are in him as a father.

2. A Good Father Gives Direction & Teaching
Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
As a father, your role is to teach your children about life. You must provide family, social, academic, professional and spiritual guidance to your children as they are growing up. Do not wait until your children are adults to start guiding them. But be involved in your children’s lives from the very day that they are born. Intimately know your children and what is happening in every stage of their lives and be there to give them help and guidance whenever they need it.

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3. A Good Father Understands That Children Are A Gift From God
Psalm 127:3 – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
There are many families that have absentee fathers. There are children who either have never known their father or who have been abandoned by their father. A father who does not love or care for his children is a man who has no respect for God or the fact that children are a gift from God. A good father does not see his children as being an unwanted burden on his life but he enjoys his children and feels blessed to have them.

4. A Good Father Leaves An Inheritance For His Children
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
As a father, your role is to work to provide for your family and in particular for the next generations in your family. A good father does not work for himself only. He does not accumulate wealth for only his lifetime, but whatever wealth he accumulates, he is able to pass on down to his children and his children’s children. Therefore your wealth should not die when you die, but it should be passed on to the next generation.

5. A Good Father Listens To His Children
Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
A good father is not autocratic in his leadership. He does not always apply a military approach in his
method of leadership and guidance towards his children. However a father will take the time to
listen and not provoke his children. Children yearn to be understood and to be heard by their fathers. Therefore as a father you must learn to bridge any distance and generation gap between you and your children. One of those ways of bridging that distance or generation gap is by being a good listener. It is only when you have understood and listened to your children in their situation, can you then give them appropriate discipline and instruction in the Lord.

6. A Good Father Prays For His Children
1 Timothy 2:8 – I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;
A good father prays for his children. He blesses his children and prays for God’s hand and presence in the lives of his children. A good father ultimately does not forget that it is God who is the Father that we ALL need in our lives. A good father knows that even he and his children cannot live without the presence and guidance of God our Heavenly Father.

7. A Good Father Imitates God, His Heavenly Father
Ephesians 5:1-2 – Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
A good father imitates God, for we are children of our heavenly Father. As a father you must therefore worship God and be rooted in your knowledge and understanding of God who is your Father. You must understand God’s values and principles just as you would expect your own children to understand and follow your values and principles.

Marriage & Divorce – Useful Bible Verses

Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Proverbs 12:4
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Malachi 2:16
“For the Lord God of Israel says, That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

Matthew 5:31-32
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Mark 10:2-9
The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him. And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said,”Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 20:6-7
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find ? The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Proverbs 19:14
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Genesis 2:22-24
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said , This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Proverbs 12:4
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.