There’s no doubt that the divorce rate around the world continues to grow and it shows no sign of slowing down.
You find a couple seemingly falls in love, gets married and then before you know it, their marriage is ruined and they are filing for divorce.

So what are the things that ruin marriages? Below are at least 5 major factors that can destroy a marriage.

1. FINANCES
This is always a big issue in a marriage. Maybe the husband isn’t earning as much as his wife and so there’s tension in the home.
Or perhaps there are disagreements on how to budget and spend the money in the home.
Another reason could be that both husband and wife are not earning enough income and so it’s difficult to meet the financial requirements in the home.
Couples are therefore bound to fight and even divorce if measures are not taken to address the financial aspect of a marriage.
The Bible however teaches us that we should be good stewards of all that God gives us and therefore this includes how we use our money. God expects us to spend our money wisely and righteously.
Furthermore, we are not to worry about money (Matthew 6:25-34) – but we should learn to trust in God that He will supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19).
Therefore in a marriage – a couple shouldn’t focus on fighting each other over money – but the couple should collectively look towards being good stewards of what they have and to trust that God will provide increase and supply every need of the family.

2. UNFORGIVENESS
Have you ever had those fights with your spouse where something you did many years ago which you thought was long forgiven and forgotten is brought back in the fight – and you’re like “Hey – I thought that issue was long forgiven & forgotten”
Well – unforgiveness – if not properly dealt with- it grows like a cancer and it festers bitterness, resentment and an underlying rage which may eventually destroy a marriage.
So it’s important that when a couple fights, that they attempt to quickly and amicably resolve an issue as soon as possible.
The Bible says that we should not allow the sun to go down whilst we are still angry (Ephesians 4:26). In other words – try not to go to bed without amicably resolving a problem with your spouse.

3. DISHONESTY & LACK OF TRANSPARENCY
Poor communication or lack of transparency will undoubtedly lead to lack of trust within the relationship.
The Bible encourages us to be honest and to speak the truth in love. Hiding the truth is a form of deception but speaking the truth encourages trust between spouses.
Where there is dishonesty there is lack of trust, and where there is lack of trust, a marriage may end up in divorce.

4. ADULTERY
Adultery is clearly wrong and it destroys the trust of a spouse. The Bible teaches that if you marry someone – it is for life and you are to remain faithful to your partner till death do you part.
Biblically, marriage is more than just a human contract. It is the joining of a man and woman in order to become one flesh.
Adultery destroys trust, creates unforgiveness and it can destroy a marriage.

5. NOT FULFILLING GOD-GIVEN DUTIES / ROLES
A marriage can be ruined because spouses do not understand or fulfill their God given spousal roles in the home.
The Bible teaches that the husband is the head and his roles is to love, provide, lead, nourish & protect his wife just as Christ does the same for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-31).
The wife is to respect & submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24,33). The wife should also be like the wife mentioned in Proverbs 31 in that she is excellent, respectful to her husband, industrious and manages the home.

So it’s important to note that every marriage goes through testing. The important thing as a couple is to learn HOW to resolve problems together and to put God at the centre of the relationship.

We have all been hurt or offended by somebody in our lives. You may have been in situations where people have deliberately done or spoken bad things against you. You were right and he/she was wrong. You didn’t deserve to be offended or hurt by that person; But the question is, when somebody offends us, what should we do? How should you feel towards the person who has offended you? What would Jesus do if He were in YOUR position? What does Jesus SAY you should do?

Mark 11:25-26 NKJV
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Unforgiveness is defined as: a grudge against someone who has offended you; not having the compassion to forgive; a resentful attitude that spews out all types of evil
Unforgiveness according to Jesus is a sin. No matter how we have been hurt or offended by somebody, it is a CHOICE whether to FORGIVE or to NOT FORGIVE.
Jesus prefers and teaches that you should CHOOSE to FORGIVE anyone who has offended or hurt you in any form.

Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

How often should you forgive an offence against you?
Jesus teaches that there should be no limit to your ability to forgive your offenders. It’s hard I know. It’s not easy. But Jesus being crucified on the cross for our sins was not easy too. Whilst hanging in terrible pain on the cross, Jesus prayed for us to the Father in Heaven: “Father, FORGIVE THEM, for they do not know what they do” – Luke 23:34 NKJV

When you understand the sacrifice that Jesus made for YOU individually; and when you understand that even though YOU too are not perfect, Jesus was crucified for YOU and your sins, then why would you not want to forgive somebody else whom Jesus also died on the cross for?

1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV
… (LOVE) is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Indeed it is a hurtful thing when we are offended, however God does not expect us to remain hurt & unforgiving towards others. He expects us to move past the hurt by allowing the love and peace of God to rule our hearts & minds.

Luke 11:2-4 NLT
Jesus said, “This is how you should pray: … as we forgive those who sin against us.”

To Forgive means to: Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.; To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon

Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Therefore, we all need forgiveness. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Jesus therefore taught that as we pray to the Father, we must talk to God about those who have offended us.
Is it okay to tell God all the pain that you feel concerning those who have hurt you? Yes it’s okay!
Is it okay to pray to the Lord about our offenders? Yes it’s okay! However as we pray to God about our offenders, we must not be hateful towards them, but rather Jesus guides us as to how we should pray pertaining to those who sin against us. Jesus says that as we pray, we must ultimately forgive our offenders; we must tell God that we forgive those who have hurt us and we must make the decision to forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

If we expect God to forgive us, then we too must also forgive those who hurt or offend us. When we forgive others we are actually freeing ourselves from the bondage of hate, resentment and anger. Whenever we operate in hate, resentment and anger we give the devil a foothold and we are not able to behave and respond according to God’s will and character.
The devil’s deception is that if we do not forgive those who offend us, we are perhaps hurting the offender by choosing not to forgive them. The truth is, in God’s eyes, we are hurting ourselves more than we hurt the offender if we do not forgive.
When we do not forgive others, neither will God forgive us.

Matthew 7:12 NKJV
Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Because we all make mistakes, and we all at some point in life will offend or hurt somebody else’s feelings, we then must be able to forgive others if we also expect to be forgiven by other people when we make a mistake.
Why should i forgive others? God forgave you. Forgiveness heals you. Forgiveness is an expression of the love of God in your life.
TODAY, if you have anyone whom you have not forgiven – make a CHOICE to forgive them NOW.

Are you dating? Are you considering marriage?
Choosing a spouse is the third most important decision you will ever make. The first most important decision in your life is becoming a born again Christian and the second is choosing the right church.

Therefore if you’re single and if you’re looking for the right person to live with for the rest of your life, what warning signs should you look for before you consider a serious relationship with a man?

Below are a 6 types of men that single women should avoid

(1) An Unbeliever
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 – Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
The Bible is clear that in the context of binding relationships such as marriage, a Christian does not have anything in common with a non-Christian or unbeliever. A marriage can last when both partners have God involved in their individual lives and are willing to involve God to be at the centre of their marriage.
Therefore it’s important for single women to pray to God to discover a Christian man who genuinely loves the Lord.

(2) A Man Who Dislikes Children
There are millions of single mothers around the world who raise their children alone because many men have abandoned the responsibility of fatherhood. Why do men abandon fatherhood? Most of them are ill-equipped, lack responsibility and dislike children. A man who loves children will not abandon the kids whom he has brought into the world irrespective of the sexual choices he has made.
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.
It’s important for a single woman to find out if her man is somebody who genuinely loves children and will not dump her the moment she becomes pregnant.

(3) A Violent & Abusive Man
If a man is abusive and violent before you get married – it’s most likely that such a man will continue this abuse in the marriage. Single women should avoid getting involved with men who are violent and abusive. Instead they should seek men who will nourish and cherish them.
Ephesians 5:28-29 – So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

(4) A Man Without A Plan
A woman generally looks for security within a man. When a man has no direction or purpose in his life it could be a problem in the long run. God’s principle in a marriage is that the husband is to lead the home and if a husband has no vision or plan, he will fail to lead his family.
Ephesians 5:23 – For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

(5) An Unfaithful Man
Unfaithfulness in a relationship will lead to anger, pain, mistrust and ultimately a broken relationship.
Unfaithfulness is always a warning sign that a woman should heed before she gets married as adultery is the cause of many broken marriages around the world.
Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Fornication is when an unmarried person is sexually active. Adultery is when a married person is sexually active with another person who is not his spouse.
God does not agree with fornication and adultery because these practices destroy the faithfulness of a person and whilst it may appear pleasurable to engage in sex outside of marriage, the effects are negative and damaging to long term relationships.

(6) A Man Who Abuses Substances
Out of the abuse of drugs and alcohol can come many relationship issues: Physical abuse, financial issues, communication breakdown; sexual & infidelity issues and also spiritual issues. Therefore a man who is addicted to drugs or alcohol will end up causing these kind of issues in a relationship.
Ephesians 5:18 – And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,

The best man that single women can find, is a godly man who loves God and has genuine Christian values.
Are you looking for the right husband? Pray and seek the mind of God and search His word regarding the qualities of a godly person.