Tag: Character

Qualities of a Good Husband

Are you looking for a good husband? What are the qualities of a good husband? Is it money; his looks; his character?
Why do so many marriages start off well and then soon end up in divorce? Before you get married – how can you discern if the person you want to get married to is Mr Right?
Below are a few important areas you can look for in a potential good husband.

1. Does He Love God?
Does the man you love – love God? When a husband truly loves God, then it means he is a man who is willing to submit to God’s values and principles of how a family should be run and led. A husband who loves the Lord will seek to please the Lord and because he has godly values will always seek the direction of the Lord as he leads his family. A good husband is more than just a church-goer – but he is a true and obedient Christian.
Matthew 22:37-38 ESV – And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment.
Proverbs 3:1-2 ESV – My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

2. Is His Love For You Genuine?
If you are to truly perceive whether your man loves you, then you (yourself) need to also understand the true meaning and definition of what love is.
Love is more than just feelings. Love is more than whether or not he gives you flowers. Love is more than how much money he spends on you. Love is more than the little notes and poems he writes to you. Love is more than the physical experience of sex.
In fact – love is hard work. Love is not just a feeling – it’s a verb; it’s a “doing” word. Therefore love is not just what you feel – but what you do. Love exists even when there are problems and challenges in the relationship. Love is unconditional and it exists even when it is unwanted or not recognized.
Ephesians 5:28 ESV – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV – Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.

3. Does He Understand The Role of The Husband In A Marriage?
Would it be wise for a job seeker to commit themselves to a certain job without first knowing or understanding what duties that particular job entails? Would an employee be effective in his duties, if he did not know what is required of him? If a man is to be an effective husband then he must know what a husband IS; what a husband DOES; and HOW to be a husband.
Ephesians 5:23-28 ESV – For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

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4. Does He Have a Vision or a Plan for Life & For A Family?
Do you want to marry a man who is good looking but doesn’t have a plan? Do you want to marry a man who is romantic but yet has no vision? Many single mothers exist because of men who do not have a plan and men who lack the knowledge and wisdom to lead a family. Many children will never know the identity of their fathers because of men who did not have a plan because of men who were too afraid to take responsibility in a relationship. If a man has decided that he wants to be a husband and that he wants to lead his family then that man must exercise wisdom and he must have a direction and plan in order to lead his wife and children.
Proverbs 3:13 NKJV – Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;

5. Is He Committed to You & The Relationship?
Does he appear like a man who will bail out when there is a problem or challenge? Does he still enjoy being single? Is he likely to cheat on you? The reason why divorce cases are so high is because people are no longer willing to be committed to a relationship. People would rather separate than work out their differences. Spouses have a self-centred, “whats-in-it-for-me?” attitude when they enter a relationship. A committed relationship is never always smooth – but every relationship requires work for it to succeed.
Matthew 5:31-32 ESV – “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Malachi 2:16 NIV – “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel …”
Matthew 5:27-29 ESV – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

6. Does He Love Children?
A man who loves children is a man with the capabilities of being a good father. Single mothers exist partly because of irresponsible men who do not love even their own children to the extent that such men will avoid the responsibility of taking care of their own kids. Therefore a good husband will see children as a blessing from God and not a mistake because children are never a “mistake” or an “accident”.
Psalm 127:3 – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

Conclusion
There are no perfect men in life. A woman should never be drawn or led by the flesh when looking for the right man. If a woman is to find a good husband, she needs to rely on more than just her feelings. She must more importantly rely on the wisdom and direction of the Lord.

 

Qualities of A Good Father

1. A Good Father is a Positive Role Model
Psalm 1:1 – Blessed is the man, who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
It is said that a daughter’s first love is her father – and a son’s first hero is his father. Whether you know it or not, as a father you have a direct and indirect influence on your children. Children naturally will at times imitate the good and the bad things what they see in their father. However just as God who is good wants us to imitate Him, a good human father would want to see his children imitate the good things that are in him as a father.

2. A Good Father Gives Direction & Teaching
Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
As a father, your role is to teach your children about life. You must provide family, social, academic, professional and spiritual guidance to your children as they are growing up. Do not wait until your children are adults to start guiding them. But be involved in your children’s lives from the very day that they are born. Intimately know your children and what is happening in every stage of their lives and be there to give them help and guidance whenever they need it.

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3. A Good Father Understands That Children Are A Gift From God
Psalm 127:3 – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
There are many families that have absentee fathers. There are children who either have never known their father or who have been abandoned by their father. A father who does not love or care for his children is a man who has no respect for God or the fact that children are a gift from God. A good father does not see his children as being an unwanted burden on his life but he enjoys his children and feels blessed to have them.

4. A Good Father Leaves An Inheritance For His Children
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
As a father, your role is to work to provide for your family and in particular for the next generations in your family. A good father does not work for himself only. He does not accumulate wealth for only his lifetime, but whatever wealth he accumulates, he is able to pass on down to his children and his children’s children. Therefore your wealth should not die when you die, but it should be passed on to the next generation.

5. A Good Father Listens To His Children
Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
A good father is not autocratic in his leadership. He does not always apply a military approach in his
method of leadership and guidance towards his children. However a father will take the time to
listen and not provoke his children. Children yearn to be understood and to be heard by their fathers. Therefore as a father you must learn to bridge any distance and generation gap between you and your children. One of those ways of bridging that distance or generation gap is by being a good listener. It is only when you have understood and listened to your children in their situation, can you then give them appropriate discipline and instruction in the Lord.

6. A Good Father Prays For His Children
1 Timothy 2:8 – I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;
A good father prays for his children. He blesses his children and prays for God’s hand and presence in the lives of his children. A good father ultimately does not forget that it is God who is the Father that we ALL need in our lives. A good father knows that even he and his children cannot live without the presence and guidance of God our Heavenly Father.

7. A Good Father Imitates God, His Heavenly Father
Ephesians 5:1-2 – Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
A good father imitates God, for we are children of our heavenly Father. As a father you must therefore worship God and be rooted in your knowledge and understanding of God who is your Father. You must understand God’s values and principles just as you would expect your own children to understand and follow your values and principles.

How To Move Forward In Life

Isaiah 43:18 ESV
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old

God does not want us to be stuck in the past. The problem with always focusing on the past is that it hinders us from looking forward. When we focus only on the issues in the past, we fail to concentrate on the objectives we need to accomplish in the present and on the goals we need to complete in the future. When the past is crippling us, we must learn how to move forward in life.
Sometimes we can be stuck in the hurts of the past; sometimes we don’t want to forget the bad experiences we had with others; sometimes we are afraid of our past failures and therefore we fear the future and we fear the unknown.
However the problem with allowing the past to control you is that remembering the past can sometimes paralyze you and hinder you from moving forward in your life.

Forget The Former Things, Consider The New
In Isaiah 43:18, God instructs us to FORGET the former things. Perhaps in your own life there are things that are holding you back which you need to forget if you are to move forward in your life.
Perhaps you need to stop holding onto your past failures. Failures are a part of life and as long as we are imperfect people, we will at times fail or make mistakes. What is important after we have failed, is that we should LEARN from our specific failures and mistakes so that we do not repeat the same mistakes. It is said that Thomas Edison the inventor of the light bulb failed over 1000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb. Clearly this man did not give up because of his failures nor did he allow his past failings to stop him from moving forward towards his goal. In relation to his many prior failures, Edison was quoted as saying that he found over 1000 ways of how NOT to make a light bulb.

In Isaiah 43:18, God also instructs us not to consider the “things of old”. Perhaps you need to find a new way of achieving your objectives. Perhaps you need to start seeing your challenges in a different way. Perhaps you need to be more innovative. It is said that CHANGE is the only constant.
Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

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Isaiah 43:19 ESV
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Focus On What God Is Doing
God our Creator knows that remembering the former things or considering the things of old will only serve to paralyse us from moving forward, therefore He instructs us to forget the former things. We must not let the past experiences in our lives hinder us.
Rather our eyes and perception must be focused on God. Our objectives must be focused on God’s plans. Our plans and God’s plans must be aligned if we are to succeed.
If you are to succeed, you must not rely on your own strength, but you must rely on God’s strength. In Isaiah 43:19, God says that it is HE who will make a way in the wilderness. God also says that it is HE who will make rivers in the desert.
Perhaps you feel like you are in the wilderness. Perhaps you feel lost, alone and afraid in your wilderness. From today, rely on God to make a way in your wilderness.
Perhaps you feel like you are in the desert. You feel thirst, dry and have nothing to sustain you. From today allow God to make rivers in your desert by trusting, obeying and having faith in Him. Don’t let the failures of your past prevent you from trusting in God and moving forward in your life.

Philippians 3:12-14 ESV
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Why Is There So Much Evil in the World?

Do you ever wonder why life continues to become difficult? Why is there so much evil in the world? Do you constantly become surprised, dismayed and shocked at how wicked society and people can be to one another?
It is said that there are ONLY TWO kind of problems in the world:
(1) Our problem with our relationship with God and
(2) Our problem with our relationship with each other.
You only need to read the newspaper or the news on the Internet and you will discover that we live in a wicked generation and there appears to be no limits to the wicked actions that people will do. The majority of people do not have a fear of God nor a love for their fellow neighbour. You hardly hear any good news whenever you read or watch the news.

 

2 Timothy 3:1-5
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

Could it be that we are in the last days? Are we beginning to experience the birth pangs of the end of times that Jesus spoke about?

When we read 2 Timothy 3:1-5, God gives us in His word an idea of what the last days will be like.
(a) There will come times of difficulty in families, in society, in nations and in the whole world.
(b) The condition of man itself will be that of wickedness and godlessness.

Let us look at each individual wicked condition of man mentioned in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 and understand God’s perspective

 

WHY WE ARE EXPERIENCING DIFFICULT TIMES

  1. People will be LOVERS OF SELF. This means that they will be conceited; they will be filled with vanity; they will think mostly of themselves and their actions will have no consideration for other people.
  2. People will be LOVERS OF MONEY. This means that people will value money more than anything or anybody else. To these people, money will be more important than God. Even religious people or false prophets will deceive and exploit people for money.
  3. People will be PROUD. This means that they will be boasters. These people will boast in their achievements and in their effort; they will not acknowledge God for their success; they will see themselves as “little gods”.
  4. People will be ARROGANT. This means that people will feel self-important; they will believe that they are better than other people; they will have no desire to learn from other people
  5. People will be ABUSIVE. This means that people will mistreat, exploit, pervert, assault, insult and commit all sort of physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological damage on each other – especially on the weak.
  6. People will be DISOBEDIENT TO PARENTS. People will not honour or respect their parents.
  7. People will be UNGRATEFUL. People will be unthankful. They will have no appreciation to their fellowman nor to God. They will not acknowledge the help of God nor of others to guide or improve their life.
  8. People will be UNHOLY. This means that the motives and hearts of people will not be pure. Their hearts and minds will be corrupted and defiled before God.
  9. People will be HEARTLESS. This means that people will be unloving and hateful. They will have no remorse for any bad things that they do. They will not repent and they will not care about doing the right thing. Their conscience will be seared.
  10. People will be UNAPPEASABLE. People will be unforgiving. They will keeps grudges.
  11. People will be SLANDEROUS. People will falsely speak words that damage the reputation of other people. They will defame or falsely testify about other people in order to damage their character.
  12. People will be WITHOUT SELF-CONTROL. People will be addicted to all sorts of things, eg drugs, sinful pleasures and perform various taboo acts. Some will yield to the control of evil or demonic spirits.
  13. People will be BRUTAL. People will be extreme, vicious, cruel, lacking human sensibility
  14. People will NOT LOVE GOOD. People will be lovers of evil. They will take pleasure in sinful behaviours. They will see the good things as being bad but however embrace bad values and bad cultures as their way of life.
  15. People will be TREACHEROUS. People will be disloyal, faithless and unfaithful. They will be dangerously unstable and unpredictable.
  16. People will be RECKLESS. People will be marked by defiant disregard for danger or consequences. They will act without thinking of the harmful effects of their negative actions.
  17. People will be SWOLLEN WITH CONCEIT. People will have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They will be extremely arrogant and vain. They will have a false sense of pride.
  18. People will be LOVERS OF PLEASURE RATHER THAN LOVERS OF GOD. People will find more time for pleasures of all sorts rather than to make time to spend with God. In other words, God will not be first in their lives. People will seek to satisfy their fleshly desires and needs and not seek God who is able to satisfy one’s needs.
  19. People will have THE APPEARANCE OF GODLINESS, BUT DENYING ITS POWER. People will be religious; they will look godly, act godly but what they will not have godliness because what they claim to believe will not correspond with their actions.

My understanding of 2 Timothy 3:5 is that there will be absolutely no boundaries to the kind of sin that people will do. People will be lawless and without self control.  I am reminded of the days of Noah, before the great flood, where it says in Genesis 6:5 that “The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually”. We therefore see a detailed description of the wicked condition of man in the last days in 2 Timothy 3:5 from Paul. Basically the conscience of people will be seared and these type of people will be unteachable and they will not repent at all from wrong doing nor will they recognise or accept the God’s word and values.

 

AVOID SUCH PEOPLE

In 2 Timothy 3:5, Paul ends part of his description of why the last days will be difficult times by saying “Avoid such people”.
Paul is not saying that we should hate such people. We of course must love them and also we must preach and teach the gospel of Christ Jesus to anybody who is lost. The reason why he says we should avoid such people as the 19 types of people mentioned in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is because some of these habits, behaviours and characteristics are contagious and can spread very easily from person to person or from one society to the next. These 19 characteristics become a lifestyle.
For example, it was not so long ago when the idea of homosexuality and gay marriage was accepted. It only took a situation where one nation radically accepted gay marriage in particular and made it law, that the idea that homosexuals can marry one another is now becoming a growing culture and spreading among various nations. Instead of homosexuality and gay marriage being seen as taboo, the idea has been embraced and accepted under the umbrella of human rights or equality. Therefore this ungodly culture of the acceptance of homosexuality is growing fast but yet this lifestyle does not please God. In certain nations, if you publically oppose the sin of homosexuality or gay marriage, you are seen as promoting hatred.
Therefore sinful habits and sinful people must be avoided, especially in situations where the people who are promoting sin are deliberately rebellious and not willing to repent or accept God’s values and Christ Jesus. The Bible discourages us from being unequally yoked with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14) and that bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33)

 

 

 

Bible Verses about One Another

In life is it important for us to treat one another with love and respect. God want us to reflect His nature through the way in which we treat other people. Our relationship with one another must ultimately give glory, honour and praise to God. Below are various Bible verses (from ESV) about how we should relate with one another in our lives.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

1 John 4:11
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

 

INSTRUCT ONE ANOTHER
Romans 15:14
I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.

 

PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER
James 5:16
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

 

HONOR ONE ANOTHER
Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.

 

BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

 

BE HOSPITABLE & SERVE ONE ANOTHER
John 13:14
If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.

1 Peter 4:9
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Galatians 5:13
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

 

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Hebrews 10:25
not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

 

TEACH ONE ANOTHER
Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

 

BEAR ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS
Galatians 6:2
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Ephesians 4:1-2
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

 

STIR ONE ANOTHER TO LOVE
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,

 

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