Are you looking for a good husband? What are the qualities of a good husband? Is it money; his looks; his character?
Why do so many marriages start off well and then soon end up in divorce? Before you get married – how can you discern if the person you want to get married to is Mr Right?
Below are a few important areas you can look for in a potential good husband.
1. Does He Love God?
Does the man you love – love God? When a husband truly loves God, then it means he is a man who is willing to submit to God’s values and principles of how a family should be run and led. A husband who loves the Lord will seek to please the Lord and because he has godly values will always seek the direction of the Lord as he leads his family. A good husband is more than just a church-goer – but he is a true and obedient Christian.
Matthew 22:37-38 ESV – And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment.
Proverbs 3:1-2 ESV – My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.
2. Is His Love For You Genuine?
If you are to truly perceive whether your man loves you, then you (yourself) need to also understand the true meaning and definition of what love is.
Love is more than just feelings. Love is more than whether or not he gives you flowers. Love is more than how much money he spends on you. Love is more than the little notes and poems he writes to you. Love is more than the physical experience of sex.
In fact – love is hard work. Love is not just a feeling – it’s a verb; it’s a “doing” word. Therefore love is not just what you feel – but what you do. Love exists even when there are problems and challenges in the relationship. Love is unconditional and it exists even when it is unwanted or not recognized.
Ephesians 5:28 ESV – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV – Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.
3. Does He Understand The Role of The Husband In A Marriage?
Would it be wise for a job seeker to commit themselves to a certain job without first knowing or understanding what duties that particular job entails? Would an employee be effective in his duties, if he did not know what is required of him? If a man is to be an effective husband then he must know what a husband IS; what a husband DOES; and HOW to be a husband.
Ephesians 5:23-28 ESV – For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
4. Does He Have a Vision or a Plan for Life & For A Family?
Do you want to marry a man who is good looking but doesn’t have a plan? Do you want to marry a man who is romantic but yet has no vision? Many single mothers exist because of men who do not have a plan and men who lack the knowledge and wisdom to lead a family. Many children will never know the identity of their fathers because of men who did not have a plan because of men who were too afraid to take responsibility in a relationship. If a man has decided that he wants to be a husband and that he wants to lead his family then that man must exercise wisdom and he must have a direction and plan in order to lead his wife and children.
Proverbs 3:13 NKJV – Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;
5. Is He Committed to You & The Relationship?
Does he appear like a man who will bail out when there is a problem or challenge? Does he still enjoy being single? Is he likely to cheat on you? The reason why divorce cases are so high is because people are no longer willing to be committed to a relationship. People would rather separate than work out their differences. Spouses have a self-centred, “whats-in-it-for-me?” attitude when they enter a relationship. A committed relationship is never always smooth – but every relationship requires work for it to succeed.
Matthew 5:31-32 ESV – “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Malachi 2:16 NIV – “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel …”
Matthew 5:27-29 ESV – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
6. Does He Love Children?
A man who loves children is a man with the capabilities of being a good father. Single mothers exist partly because of irresponsible men who do not love even their own children to the extent that such men will avoid the responsibility of taking care of their own kids. Therefore a good husband will see children as a blessing from God and not a mistake because children are never a “mistake” or an “accident”.
Psalm 127:3 – Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Proverbs 13:22 – A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
There are no perfect men in life. A woman should never be drawn or led by the flesh when looking for the right man. If a woman is to find a good husband, she needs to rely on more than just her feelings. She must more importantly rely on the wisdom and direction of the Lord.